I wrote this on 23 May 2011...

...but for some reason didn't publish it. Maybe I was planning on adding some images, but then forgot about the whole thing in the events of the following few weeks. Anyway, I had no recollection of writing it and have returned just now to look at my poor neglected blog, thinking it was time to start up again and here it was!
 It was interesting seeing how I was feeling at that point, now knowing how my life has changed since then. So I thought it was worth publishing, for my own sake! The next one will be a current one! I promise. Here follows my belated post:

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The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

-- Jelaluddin Rumi,
    translation by Coleman Barks

It's been over four months since I've even looked at any blogs, including my own. This was not a planned hiatus and I am itching to get back on the horse.

During this unexpected absence I have:
unwillingly seperated from my beloved partner of 11 years,
accidently picked up a new toyboy who is probably going to break my heart (again)
and finally become pregnant after 8 long years of fertility treament... (and it's happened in that order!)

It never ceases to amaze me how suddenly life can change direction with no warning whatsoever.
This is not necessarily a bad thing. A surprise, yes, and a somewhat painful one at that. But not necessarily all bad.

So, this is giving my a new chance to re-evaluate all my goals and dreams. I am waiting to see what comes out in the wash. I normally don't  feel excited about the cold of winter, but this time I am anticipating a deliciously lengthy spot of hibernating. I have a 'craft shed' to organise and feather. I have at least a hundred million unfinished projects to tend to. I have an ocean-full of reflecting and contemplating attend to. I'm looking forward to spending time with myself again after being pulled this way and that for quite a while. And, I am estatic about welcoming a baby into the world. Despite all the uncertainties.