I have just returned from 45min spontaneous calisthenics in our farm yard, with "MOVE, you bastards!!" ringing in my ears, and am reflecting on the farm lessons learnt:
1) Do not allow the neighbours14 cows (including the alpha bull) push down your fence and get into your yard (apparently, the grass IS greener...)
2) Rule #1 is important as it is virtually impossible to get 14 cows back through said fence to the paddock where they belong. (Tell me...how do you keep the 11 you got back in the paddock in there, while you round up the last wayward 3?)
3) Cows can do unexpectedly nasty things to gardens and retaining walls (yes, as solid as these creatures look, they can jump UP a 4 foot retaining wall).
4) Jack (boydog) is a surprisingly good cattledog.
6) In the highly likely event that you can't return the cows to their rightful paddock, DO NOT not put the alpha bull into the only other alternative paddock that contains five rival, testosterone-fueled, adolescent bulls.
10) Remember to change out of your PJ's before trying to get 14 cows out of your back yard.
4) Jack (boydog) is a surprisingly good cattledog.
5) Jemima (girldog) is a spectacularly poor cattledog (she was cowering under the ute watching the show).
6) In the highly likely event that you can't return the cows to their rightful paddock, DO NOT not put the alpha bull into the only other alternative paddock that contains five rival, testosterone-fueled, adolescent bulls.
7) To stop the said adolescent bulls bellowing for weeks on end, provide them with 13 young girly cows with which to have their way.
8) If rule #6 is nigh impossible to achieve- turn around, go inside & pretend it wasn't you.
9) Rival bulls can spend hours (...ummm, days??) in a headlock.
10) Remember to change out of your PJ's before trying to get 14 cows out of your back yard.
Main lesson learnt:
Next time when I'm home sleeping after and prior to night shift I will not look out the window and feel a responsibility for the neighbours cows which have got out of our paddock (because of our dodgy fences).
Instead, I will just turn around and go back to bed.
Next time when I'm home sleeping after and prior to night shift I will not look out the window and feel a responsibility for the neighbours cows which have got out of our paddock (because of our dodgy fences).
Instead, I will just turn around and go back to bed.
Pepper x
PS. I have cow poop on my PJ's.
PPS. I did ring and inform the REAL farmer, and he sent his boys around to remedy the situation before the bulls did serious damage ...Whew!
PPS. I did ring and inform the REAL farmer, and he sent his boys around to remedy the situation before the bulls did serious damage ...Whew!
